spawn
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O Hai, World
When I last checked in with this lonely blog I was OMG-pregnant, and I’ve left everyone in suspense. But as expected, in late August my pregnancy resulted in a tiny person with whom I share an emotionally potent chemical co-dependency.
More simply, I HAZ A CUTE BAYBEE!
Please welcome our tiny new friend–codename Chestnut–our toothless, elfen, smiley learning machine. This picture is from his first full day on the outside, when he still had an anti-theft device attached to his cord stump. It’s true, they make them for babies. Apparently, the idea is that if you try to abscond from a hospital with a kiddo, it beeps like a shoplifted dress from Ross. But if you try to remove it or tamper with it, it’s a felony because messing with the cord stump can potentially endanger the kid’s health.
So what’s it like on the other side of the … Read the rest
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“Uterine Invader! I mean, happy breeding to you!”
With thanks to JJ for the quote!
Folks, somehow this ended up in my uterus:
I KNOW, RIGHT? I’m as confused as you are, but I suspect that project partner, housemate, and special friend Far McKon may have had some involvement. I raise my eyebrow at you, sir.
Here’s a FAQ about my spawn.
Basic stats?
Due mid-August. Sex unknown. Name TBD. Proto-baby was not planned, per se, but also not a surprise. Anticipated delivery at The Birth Center. Using a doula who has a special interest in this birth, as she also acts as my sister when she’s not applying counterpressure or advising on the latest research on perineal massage.
I’m your friend. Why did you tell the Internet before you told me?
Erm, it’s complicated? I’m really sorry if my failure to disclose is annoying or hurtful. Parts of the Internet already know and it’s public knowledge … Read the rest